Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
