ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize