I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Randomize
