How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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