i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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