I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
