You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
