look no pants
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
