I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
