is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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