We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
