I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
