i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
