So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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