My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
