I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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