i wish peter jackson would direct porn
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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