Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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