drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
