Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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