i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
