shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
