so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
