I want to make a zoo with you.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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