Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
