brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just gargled with NyQuil
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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