so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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