morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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