Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
