a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
