the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
