I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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