I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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