He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
