Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
