i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
