I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
