Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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