Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
