Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm like, not good at living.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
