why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize