were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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