3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
MIDGETS
????
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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