i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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