It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
