In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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