Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
