the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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