you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
