I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
