Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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