Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
